Gavin and I have done A LOT of walking this summer, particularly in areas he has to hold my hand. Those moms with [energetic] toddlers or young children - you understand the level of energy and effort it takes to walk with our children.
Children see the world around them in such a different way - they are easily distracted, and enthusiastic about whatever grabs their attention. With Gavin, in a simple walk from point A to point B, he is either running ahead, falling behind, walking the wrong direction, or mesmerized by some distraction at hand. It is both exhausting and entertaining. On good days, it makes me laugh - on busy day, it frustrates me to no end.
Yesterday, I was in my quiet time, praying and journaling and I felt my heart was all over the place. My prayer jumped from one topic to another and back again. I found my journal flooded with apologies and grateful appreciation for God's patience. Patience to walk with me through my web of thoughts, concerns, and prayers.
After I pray, I read the verse of the day, and then I read the chapters for my Chronological Read thru the Bible for the year. Yesterday, the verse of the day was Philippians 4:6.
"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God."
I paused. And I thanked God for the reminder that He wants me to pour my mismanaged and jumbled concerns out in prayer to Him. He wants to be my go to source for comfort, answers, and peace.
As I re-read the verse I pondered: Prayer and Supplication. I always thought they were one in the same. So I looked up the definitions related to the Greek/Hebrew translations...
Prayer: giving God space, attention and worship
Supplication: to petition or request of God
And to do both with thanksgiving, gratitude!
Do I do this?
I sure do talk a lot in my prayer time. I do take my concerns as well as my joys to Him. And I do often ask and try my hardest to tune in and listen for the answers He puts on my heart. But if I am trying to live truly intentional I have to check myself time and time again.
Do I give God space and attention in my worries and fears?
Do I truly worship God in my trials and struggles?
Do I earnestly request change or clarification?
Do I petition for wisdom and understanding?
And do I do all of this with gratitude for the place and circumstances He has me walking in the moment?
Do I just talk A LOT and then get distracted?
Do I get hung up on the problem and forget to fix my gaze of Him as the solution?
Do I rush ahead to one topic after another, forgetting to listen?
Am I seeking to focus on His intentions and will, not my own?
I have a single line in the bottom of yesterday's journal entry:
God, walking with me must be like walking with a child (slow, distracted, falling behind, or running ahead) Yet here you are - alway with me.
I want to get better at this. I want to be intentionally present in my #timewithGod. And by intentionally present, I mean unified with Him in my focus. Not just talking to talk, but talking to listen. Following in pace with Him. Taking direction from His Word. In step and encouraged.
I think about Gavin, once again. When he asks me a question, and as I answer he has moved on to the next 'shiny thing in view' ---
Are you missing sweet moments and clarifying answers in your prayer life because you too are "walking like a child" with God?
Or maybe you are walking like a pre-teen/teen and completely out of tune to anything He is saying? Maybe you are choosing instead to ignore any involvement, input and support He has provided in your life altogether. Maybe you don't even realize He is present with you at all?
Which ever the case may be, be self-aware and realize that we are very blessed. So often, as adults we are so preoccupied with our "to do" that we miss seeing the world through our children's eyes. Due to this - many of our children stop talking all together. But we have a Father who genuinely cares for us. Because of His steadfast love for us - He longs to hear from us and in His faithfulness - He longs to answer us. But the choice to "walk well" is ours.