I will eventually write out my story to explain more abut the experiences that led to the unfolding of the title: Blind Believer. But for now, I just want to explain its meaning for those who have been asking.
I am not sure the day and time I was first introduced to God. It is uncertain the first time I heard His name, was read His word, or experienced someone praying.
I was raised in church, attended a private school, and was surrounded by believers from as early as I can recall. I do not have memories before around the age 6/7yo, but have no doubt my first experience precedes my earliest memory.
After many years of people investing in my knowledge of the Lord, I accepted His gift of Salvation in 1999. Potentially earlier, but I know without doubt in January of 1999 I sat on my bed and understood I needed a Savior. It was evident that the choices I had made, was making, and would make in the future kept Jesus Christ nailed to the tree on Calvary. And I was humbled by God's love for me. In that moment, I did what I had been taught all those years: prayed the "sinner's prayer".
I spent the next 8 years on a roller coaster of self-driven christian living. If you have made it to this step in your faith - you may know that description of "roller-coaster" all too well. If you are not yet there, I assure you there is so much more to faith and relationship with God that makes the road much more attainable.
Fast forward 8 years and after a life changing year, God began to pick at my heart. You see I invited God to "live in my heart" but closed and locked many doors, including the control center. Instead I gave Him a front row seat to watch my performance. A performance I was failing miserably.
I had the knowledge, the education, the conviction to live a life of a christian, BUT that is not enough. We are human, and controlled by our flesh until we give God the keys to the control center. I had been taught this too, but it evidently had not sunk in, but in 2017/18 this hit home.
In 2017, I began to live as a believer, not a christian. I started living from conviction, not from a list of rules. I ventured into a life where my decisions were based on faith, not necessarily logic.
This is where I have been, but never could explain or describe it in words. Until June 10th. During my devotional on that Sunday, the description of my past 8 years of life was put into 2 words: Blind Believer. I believed, but was blind to the power God had to change me, heal me, use me. In that moment, I realized how many of us are blind! How many people labeled as "hypocrites" to those out side the church are actually just other blind believers.
After this incredible quiet time, I attended the service at our church where we were challenged to consider both Salvation AND Lordship. Lordship - this was the piece I was missing. This is where I was lacking until 2017. But this is also where I found freedom, forgiveness and a huge sigh of relief.
If you are stuck on the roller-coaster mentioned above, find the next exit - living a holy life is much easier under the submission of Lordship. Do I still make mistakes --- YES. Absolutely. I am still human, that did not change, but in submitting I am able to accept forgiveness in a new way, I am impressed by conviction in a more affective way, and I am given God's strength in my weakness.
Forgiveness, grace, and fellowship with God is available through Salvation.
Healing, restoration, and empowerment exists in Lordship.
Don't miss that important second step.
If you find yourself to be a Blind Believer - be encouraged...For He offers AMAZING GRACE - or we were all once blind - but He can help each of us see! What a sweet, SWEET SOUND.